Trusting God’s Purpose When Disappointment Calls

When a Child's Tears Rewrite Your Theology

“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 12:12 (NIV)

I remember the moment vividly. While seated in the living room, my son had a rare moment of vulnerability as the afternoon sun painted long shadows on the floor. Tears welled in his eyes as he voiced the painful disappointment simmering beneath the surface for years.

“I never asked to be born.” The words stung deeply. My child, self-aware enough to feel his difference, grappled with the weight of his disabilities.

The frustration and sadness in his voice were palpable. As a mother, I felt helpless. I wanted to take away his pain, to assure him that his life had immense value, but at that moment, all I could do was sit with him and listen.

Parenting a disabled child reshaped my understanding of God’s calling on a person’s life. Particularly for those who don’t conform to societal expectations of “Christian” or “Christian service.”

Understanding Christian Calling

An understanding of calling must encompass all members of the body of Christ without consideration for ableness. As 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 explains, the Church is like a body with many essential and interdependent parts. Christian calling should value each individual, regardless of their abilities, as vital to the overall mission and health of the Church.

“Christian” comes from the Greek word Χριστιανός (Christianos), which means “follower of Christ.” A follower of Christ does not become a follower of Christ because of what they can do but because of what they cannot do—save themselves. Believing that we had something to do with making ourselves right with God is a type of ableism and, in a Christian context, is legalism laced with discrimination. In reality, all of Christ’s followers share the common ground of being disabled by sin, but not all understand the breadth and depth of their lack.

Christian calling is fundamentally about a relationship with God and participating in His work for His glory. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (NKJ) Everyone has a purpose and a calling, not based on ability but on their identity in Christ.

The body of Christ functions most effectively when it includes all members of the community. As 1 Corinthians 12:12 states, “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.” (NIV) True calling transcends human abilities, relying solely on God’s strength to walk out that calling through daily acts of faithfulness.

When Disappointment Calls

Disappointment arises when our expectations of calling don’t materialize, affecting us personally, societally, and spiritually.

Goals and a sense of purpose can lead to personal disappointment when they remain unfulfilled. For example, for years I had energetic public-facing roles in Bible teaching, event organizing, and group facilitation. As my health deteriorated and my caregiving responsibilities grew, I found myself increasingly limited to my home, unable to participate in the same way as before. This shift led to a lingering sense of disappointment.

External pressures and judgments can cause societal disappointment. Society’s emphasis on productivity and visible achievements can breed feelings of inadequacy. When my child with disabilities couldn’t meet these expectations, we both felt societal disappointment, as his potential for a meaningful calling seemed diminished.

Believing inability limits one’s capacity to serve God’s purpose results in spiritual disappointment. Health issues made me doubt my worth and purpose in God’s plan: a difficult mindset to overcome, as it struck at the core of my faith and identity.

Embracing Inability and Redefining Calling

In a culture that often misinterprets calling as mere performative service, embracing our limitations helps us understand calling in God’s terms.

Here’s how:

1. Relationship with God: Our primary calling is to be in a relationship with Jesus, contingent on His love and grace, not our abilities. Even those who cannot perform traditional acts of service, like going on the mission field, speaking from a stage, or building homes with Habitat for Humanity, can live out this calling through their faith and trust in God.

2. Reflecting God’s Glory: Everyone, regardless of their ability, uniquely reflects God’s glory. For someone with disabilities, their very existence and the love they give and receive can be powerful testimonies of God’s love.

3. Community and Support: The Christian community plays a crucial role in supporting and affirming the worth of all its members. Romans 12:4-5 speaks about the body of Christ, where each member is valuable and essential. The church’s calling is caring for and including all people, regardless of ability.

Faithfulness in the Face of Disappointment

Perhaps you have faced seasons of disappointment in your calling or wondered if you missed it altogether. You are not alone in these feelings. You might discover that your calling weaves into the fabric of your everyday life through the ordinary acts of love and service you give and receive.

Calling is not just about what we do for others, but also about being willing to receive. We begin our Christian walk by receiving forgiveness through God’s love, and we continue to grow as we receive from Him and those around us. Our calling is not a solo act; it is impossible without God’s continual influence on our lives and the support we receive from others.

Your journey, with all its twists and turns, is valuable. The challenges you face do not diminish your worth or your calling. Instead, they refine and strengthen you. Consider the story of Esther, whom God placed in her position “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14 NIV). Your unique circumstances, skills, and experiences are part of God’s plan for you.

Finding Strength and Courage in Your Calling

If you are struggling with disappointment in your calling, I encourage you to seek God through His Word and community. Share your story with others, and you may find that, as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 suggests, there is strength in companionship. Lean into the support of those around you, and do not be afraid to reach out for help when needed.

Reflect on Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” (NKJV) and remember that God equips you for the tasks He calls you to. Your calling may not always be clear or momentous. Yet, in the quiet faithfulness of each day, you will fulfill the purpose God has for you.

Embrace each day with faith, knowing that your true calling is to follow God wherever He leads.

Courage is not the absence of fear but the determination to move forward despite disappointment and uncertainty.

Each step, each act of faithfulness, is part of the calling God has placed on your life. Trust in His guidance and lean on His strength; you will find the courage to live out your calling, one day at a time.

Reflecting on my son’s anguished words, “I never asked to be born,” I realize they resonate with a more profound truth we all face. None of us asked to be born, yet we find ourselves here, each with a unique calling that surpasses our ableness—one that is, thankfully, grounded in God’s love and purpose for our lives.

[Originally posted by Faith to Follow Ministries on August 17, 2024]

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